Sunday, April 18, 2010

"Sunshine Go Away Today"

Yes, I know it's a sixties protest song(actually 1971), but it fits today. The song by Jonathon Edwards can be viewed at I'll post the link and lyrics at the end.
I feel the need to protest my in-laws. Not all of them, just the two who think they rule the world, or at least us. I mean the roller coaster from the dark side they've had us on lately is inhuman. First, we were invited to Grandma's shindig, then we were told not to come, then we were, then the grand Command performance where we were ordered to Grandma's apartment and told we could come, wish her a Happy Birthday, eat exactly one plate of food, excuse ourselves and leave. That was bad enough. But today showed that they have not a shred of human kindness or MANNERS!
Larry Lee offered to give us a ride to the party, but with Juli due to have surgery Friday, we seriously gave thought to only having Ralph go. After agonizing over it, we decided to attend, but keep our presence limited in focus. We tried in every way not to bring unwelcome attention to our presence. Turns out, we weren't the problem. While we were eating our ONE plate of food each, the senior surviving sister, bent over to speak to Ralph, just to tell him to relay a message to Julia, that she was not to take pictures, ESPECIALLY of the kids! Juli is NOT a pedophile, or a STALKER! She merely wanted photos to remember her ONLY living Grandma by, especially since she's 90 and won't be around forever! To be singled out and treated like this was bad enough.
Juli has Hidradenitis Suppurativa, is having her third surgery for this on this coming Friday, and was just sitting quietly unobtrusively as possible. This psycho ostracized her after telling us not to cause anything! Juli will be lucky to live a full life. The longer of average recorded histories is 40-50 years, with many HS sufferers perishing younger due to vulnerability to several cancers. That is best case scenario for a disease that usually doesn't start till after puberty in late teens. Juli has suffered from this since age 8, an extraordinarily young age. She has reached stage 3 of 4 well before she turned 18 last fall. Not a promising start. (look for a link to this as well)
I just lost my only, my older brother on Good Friday. It has hit us financially as well, since I am the only survivor of our nuclear family. I have younger step-siblings, siblings-in-love, I call them. They have truly shown me what family should be, disfunctional though it may be. They are there when the chips are down.
I am at a loss on how to deal with this family. Juli plans to change her last name. Not just because she is a writer, but legally because the last name Carter has only meant pain to her, all her life long. I can't say as I blame her. When people choose pettiness, hatred and being venomous over love, some times you just have to walk away to survive. I lost my Mike for the better part of 35 years due to drugs. I think I prefer that to being sober and being treated with hatred, unadulterated, and childish tantrums.
So, Carter family, while we would never keep Ralph from you (God knows why, but he still loves you all??!), stick a fork in me, I am SO DONE.
You will never hurt my baby again, God as my witness! If anyone wants to GROW UP, and get past this, you will be welcome in our hearts and home.
Oh, and as for Julia's other aunt...the restraining orders wouldn't have been necessary if you had respected our boundaries as a family and allowed us to parent Julia. You had no right to inspect her school records and the idiots that allowed you unlimited access I hope are unemployed. You violated laws and privacy to go places you had no right. I offered to apply for the TRO, but Juli said that she was an adult, and it was her decision that you had no business throwing a tantrum at her doctor's office that upset her doctor so, that it was notated in her permanent medical record. She ended up switching doctors because she was so embarrassed and angered by this violation.
I have set the record straight. I hope that someday I can look at you without seeing my daughter's tear-streaked face, but I doubt it. I am a Mother after all. I am her mother, and you need to back off. If I had had the courage to tell you this 18 years ago, maybe Julia would be stronger. Still she is much more loving than you have ever been or ever will be. I am so proud of her.
So, as the song says, "you can't even run your own life, I'll be d@mned if you'll run mine!"

Lyrics: Sunshine Go Away
Sunshine go away today
I don't feel much like dancing
Some man's gone, he's tried to run my life
Don't know what he's asking

He tells me I'd better get in line
Can't hear what he's saying
When I grow up I'm going to make it mine
But these aren't dues I been paying

How much does it cost, I'll buy it
The time is all we've lost, I'll try it
But he can't even run his own life
I'll be damned if he'll run mine, Sunshine

Sunshine go away today
I don't feel much like dancing
Some man's gone he's tried to run my life
Don't know what he's asking

Working starts to make me wonder where
The fruits of what I do are going
He says in love and war all is fair
But he's got cards he ain't showing


Sunshine come on back another day
I promise you I'll be singing
This old world, she's gonna turn around
Brand new bells'll be ringing

Links: Sunshine Go Away:
Hidradenitis Suppurativa:

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