Make Lemonade (or get OFF me!)

I am sorry for whatever tragedy or disappointment has befallen you and or your family. I probably didn't know about your crisis when it happened. Heaven knows, I am left out of the loop unless I read about whatever happened online. So, if I did anything offensive, it was not intended. Life sucks, I am very aware. Now - GET OFF ME!
I have had my share of tragedies, and I have been there and felt your pain. The last thing I would ever do is purposely add the "F" to it! I had a miscarriage at 20 weeks and if I wasn't devastated enough by that, my in-laws gave me SH!T about how the fetus was probably severely disabled and how we wouldn't have wanted that. At 20 weeks, I was already in love with that baby and I grieved sorely. It hurt my husband even more, because he has developmental disabilities and was one of those babies we "wouldn't" have wanted. Talk about insensitive. Even more, the one telling us how hard it would be was mother to an autistic son, one of those babies, should I have asked her if he shouldn't have been born. Darren was precious gift. I will never forget him putting on his hat & shades and doing his best imitation of Elton John singing "Daniel" and pretending to play piano. Oh, Darren, you were like "Daniel" in that "your eyes see more than mine". I am so grateful to have known him. He was one of the few in-laws that accepted me unequivocally.
When Ralph and I married, I had undergone an evaluation at the local sheltered workshop because of physical disability, binaural hearing loss. His family ASSUMED since he knew me from there, that I was similarly disabled and they would end up taking care of me also. They never gave Ralph any credit for being a man, and being capable of being a husband and father. I am not saying our lives together were without challenges. Lord knows, there have been lots of roadblocks and oceans of tears. But there was even more sweetness and love and we had beautiful Juli. She came in the wake of the tragedy of that miscarriage.
She was hard fought for and won at a GREAT price. I had obstacle after obstacle to not only her survival, but mine as well. First was bleeding and fear of miscarriage at 10 weeks. That was first of five ultrasounds. I was put on bedrest at ten weeks because of placenta previa, which was not commonly known then, in hopes the placenta would grow up and away from th cervix as the baby grows. Well, on the heels of that came gestational diabetes, followed closely by preeclampsia. I was hospitalized at what by original calculations was just over 33 weeks, shortly after my first anniversary. Our baby shower was on that day, and on the way home, we came up on a devastating looking accident that was my stepsister's car in which she and my mother were heading home. Juli was born, according to ob/gyn/surgeon four weeks early, six weeks by my gp's calculations, and 8 weeks according to the neonatologist. She was taken c-section after the 3 tests done by amnio showed 1. her lungs WERE ready, 2. they were NOT ready, or 3 unsure. She was on oxygen first day of her life, and umbilical iv for five days, and uv lights for bilirubin for two more days. During this time my c-section staples were removed, my dad died, I went to the calling, spiked a fever and woke to a seeping open wound that my mother said looked like raw hamburger. Only a thin area of muscle had started healing enough that it kept me from being eviscerated. I was readmitted on day six of Juli's life, she went home on day seven and I finally got to join her on day eight. And I found out afterward, she suffered having her little heels stabbed every two hours to draw blood to check her glucose, calcium and bilirubin levels that whole first week of her life. I was also devastated that my most evil sister-in-law that was a former employee of the hospital was allowed to hold my daughter not only before my husband did, but before I even knew for sure she had survived. My family, out of respect for me, waited until after I had seen her and held her.
We had originally wanted three children. Upon finding out that the c-section separating would likely recur, and there was a strong possibility of mortality, we decided to be grateful for our Juli and not try for more children. So between the miscarriage and all the complications involved in Juli & I surviving her arrival, we chose to cherish the precious gift we got in her with no regrets. Apparently my reproductive capabilities were a lemon, so I made lemonade, and poured all my efforts into raising my beautiful daughter and letting her know how special she was. She said when she was only 8 that God had special plans for her.
Her life so far has been frought with obstacles. She had Respiratory Syncictial Virus (RSV) at three months, and by age one and a half was on meds for asthma. By age three, she had urinary blockage and endured scary, painful tests to resolve that. At eight, she began having juvenile migraines and we first encountered cysts that would turn out to be Hidradenitis Supprativa Acne Inversa, a very painful, little known condition with no cure.
My in-laws, when my life was in turmoil from losing a second daddy, my stepfather of 17 years, decided that when my housekeeping was out of control, to turn me in to welfare because cobwebs and clutter could be hazardous to Juli's health. The stress from fear of being taken away from her daddy and me, caused way more problems with her asthma than dust and cobwebs ever could. They did this at the time I was most overwhelmed, because not only had we lost daddy, momma was rapidly deteriorating healthwise. I had also begun living with type two diabetes at that time. The aunts that called welfare, took great delight in telling Juli that if she didn't pick up her toys, they would take her away. Nice aunts, huh?
Then when Momma went through congestive heart failure, we got a rare and precious gift of an extra year and a half to love her. She lost her left leg above the knee five months later, but we managed to bring her home again. During all of this, not only were we dealing with this, but my brother was in and out of jail for various drug related charges and his wife left him. He ended up staying with momma until his schizophrenia got the best of him and he tried to choke her and she nearly bled out from an ulcer that developed from his treatment of her. I was trying to keep her house and my own complying with welfare, handling her, Juli's, Ralph's, Michael's and my own health problems. My in-laws answer was not to offer any real help, they called welfare yet again.
May of 1998, the 6th to be exact, Momma left us. She and I had been best friends, much like Juli and I are now and I know people worried how I would cope with her loss. My wonderful sister-in-law's solution, tell six year old Juli, that just lost her beloved Grandma"Creepy" (she couldn't pronounce Streby), not to cry because Mommy might go crazy and she'd lose her too! "Isn't that just kick you in the crotch, spit down your neck fantastic?" (friends quote) Juli didn't cry for a whole year! My poor baby, to be told she had to be responsible for her mother's mental health?!
Few years later, we were finally doing fairly decent and decided to try for the first time homebuyer's program offered through the USDA. We were less than ninety days from closing when the factory where Ralph worked decided to ship their operations overseas and we had to pull out of the contract. For over a year, Ralph worked with a job placement coach trying to get another job. We had applied to ss disability for him because all his jobs had been supported employment with special accomodations to allow him to work. He was not considered to be substantially working, because he needed support to perform the jobs. He was hired for another factory job, and had a job retention coach that went above and beyond, so we applied to Habitat for Humanity. We were much of the way through the build when he again lost his job, this time despite having full support of a job coach. Even though two and a half years had passed since he applied for disability it was finally approved. Once again, we lost the opportunity for a house because our income went below the level for Habitat. I had applied for disability for myself because my ability to work was rapidly diminishing due to complications of diabetes. We were again trying for habitat, when I got the first and second denials, this time taking us out of our third attempt for a house and bringing our income down so low we dropped out of the habitat eligibility completely.
During the first habitat attempt, Ralph's health took some alarming downturns, including my in-laws "kidnapping" him and traumatizing our whole family. He had to go on insulin and thy decided that when during an argument I swatted him on the top of the head for pulling a bonehead stunt, that I was being abusive and wouldn't let us talk to him until I scheduled a psych eval for myself. Juli cried herself to sleep as did I. We got through all that. I was diagnosed as having bipolar II disorder and went on meds that basically made me catatonic because they were too strong.
While I was so out of it, my oh-so-sweet sister-in-law decided to once again throw us to the wolves and called welfare. Such love! I finally got my meds adjusted to where I was functional and I struggled on. I was now using a cane, early in the morning and late in the day, since my nerves no longer told my leg muscles consistently when I was standing. I would stand up and keep on going forward toward falling on my face. Or I would drop back. I had developed retinopathy in my eyes (leaking blood vessels and new vessel growth that can swelll retina and blur vision). I could no longer see clearly. I had been hard of hearing since age four due to nerve damage from fevers of 106 degrees. I grew up learning visually by necessity. I learned basic lipreading by osmosis. Hearing aids can help, but are limited. Losing my visual cues, caused me to isolate myself more from the world. Thankfully, the retinopathy is in remission at this time, and God willing, if I can get rigid control of the diabetes, may not recur. My neuropathies affect not only my legs, but my hands and arms all the way to the shoulder on my right (dominant) arm. The focal neuropathy causes so much pain in my hips, that I have to change positions frequently to alleviate it some. The autonomic neuropathy has caused acid reflux (gastroesophogeal reflux disease), irritable bowel/chronic constipation, and urinary incontinence. Meds help with these things, but only so much. I have no regular pain management. I ended up not being able to take typical bipolar meds, because I basically shut down on them, and instead use an anti depressant that has been found to help with neuropathic pain. I couldn't take the regulare neuropathy meds because they adversely affected my vision. I had to stop taking the only effective antidiabetic oral med because it caused my body to mimic congestive heart failure. Still I forge on.
Juli ended up bearing the brunt of responsibility for our household when I was so foggy from the bipolar meds and that breaks my heart every time I think about it. When I finally got under control, she was mentally exhausted and she was initially diagnosed as depressed. They tried her on a med, and it gave her suicidal feelings. On further evaluation, she was diagnosed as (just like her mommy) bipolar II disorder.
Ralph is fairly stable right now, just needs to get his a1c down, thank God. He is pretty much handling the household.
Juli had her second surgery for her HS and got MRSA afterwards. She had missed so much school that she had to retake junior year of high school, and is switching schools again.
I know that she too will emerge on the other side of all this as stronger, because she is after all, Martha Jessamine's granddaughter, and she too, will show 'em all!
OKAY- so life can suck, your heart can break, but like the song from Titanic, "My heart will go on". I grieve with you over your losses. If I said or did something that offended you, I am sorry and certainly didn't intend to. I've said that I am sorry.
I AM DONE! I know you hurt, but I will not EVER go back to being a victim for anyone! My mother stayed for 23 years with my father beating her on a daily basis, and even when the sheriff brought him back the shotgun he threatened her with after she snuck it out and took it to the sheriff's office, still she stayed. She woke up one day to me standing over her telling her I didn't know if she was dead or alive. She decided that day to stop being a victim. Today is my independence day. I am not responsible for your pain. I don't deserve to feel like I am. I owe no apology for a sin I did not commit. No more.
(You know who you are and I love you unequivocally. If you choose to cut off contact with me, so be it. I will miss you. We haven't spent much time together, sometimes families just don't get close. I am however not the cause of your grief. I hope when things settle, you will realize this, but if you don't, I won't come begging. I just ask that you not hurt my child. )
Life gives us LEMON situations and we have to really struggle to find our LEMONADE solutions. I, for one, am going to keep finding good in the LEMONs (they are good in Iced
Tea). This is me, moving forward. Good night!

Worst Christmas Ideas Ever...

Reindeer gems - definition: sterilized droppings that are coated for decorative use as ornaments, and now as jewelry.
Just what you always wanted, decorative feces to hang around your neck or on your tree! What's next? Maybe rabbit pellet bead necklaces and earrings? Feces, the gift that keeps on giving.
Several places over the past month have discussed worst gift ever ideas. I know that the morning show, Live with Regis & Kelly, had people sending in their worst Christmas gift ever memories.
I thought that coal was mean until I heard a woman relate how her boyfriend's mother gave her a package of ground beef and it was supposed to be a big deal!
Silly me, I thought getting sick was a bad gift for any occasion. My daughter got some very unwelcome birthday gifts. I related that getting exposed to chicken pox at one birthday, and head lice at another were pretty bad gifts. I guess I underestimated human nature and man's ability to torture each other.
So - people - what's the most humiliating or unwelcome/unwanted gift you've ever gotten? Tweet me, or update me on facebook. Help us all come down off our tryptophan highs from the turky and the sheer exuberance of the Christmas holiday. That way, when people have to go back to work, it won't be such a shock! Ho, ho, holy crud, what a downer!

One Year

It's 2:52 AM and I'm sat here in this worn down leather chair, steaming mug of coffee on the stand beside me, freezing rain pouring down outside, and 'Stronger' up as loud as it will go. I'm sat here thinking of you, Anita. Thinking of how much I miss you, how proud you'd be of your babies, and how much you loved it when Mallorie and I would dance to this song.
I miss you more than words could ever say, Anita. You changed my entire life and I am forever in gratitude to you. I can still hear your voice in my head and the way you'd call me 'Lil Gu'url'. Nobody else gets to call me that, not even my Mama. It's a rule.
Thanks for giving my mom a best friend, Anita. I know she really misses you - more than I do and that's a lot. She had Aunt Carla and her one friend that died when she was little, but I think you were her first real best friend. What was it you guys called each other? Sister-Friend. That's it. You guys were sister-friends. Kindred spirits. Thanks for giving my Mommy that.
I know Mallorie, Matt, & Mandy miss you. They're so amazing, you raised three beautiful and wonderful children, Anita. Mal will be nineteen Saturday and I wish more than anything that I could be up there to give her a hug and dance with her to stronger. Just like we used to do in the living room while you and mom laughed so hard tears came. I know you're looking over those babies of yours and you're smiling big.
It's Christmas day and I can't help but think of you. Not because it's the one year anniversary of your passing, but because you seemed like Christmas personafied to me. You were always so full of joy and there was always a smile on your face - even when things were going wrong.
Today, I'm gonna smile. I'm gonna tell your baby girl that I love her and that we'll always be best friends. Cause we're our momma's all over again - Sister Friends.

Love you lots, Anita.
Love,
Jules

Canada is the new Nigeria ... OR... the grinch

that stole our Christmas. Apparently the newest crop of scammers are Canadian nationals and their scam is just as evil as the Nigerian con artists'. I received what would appear to be a very exciting letter in the mail last week. It purported to be a letter from a sweepstakes agent for a Viacom intl. sweepstakes, one of many I entered pursuing the American Dream. Of course, being cynical after all these years of Nigerians wanting me to claim mysterious inheritances and Asians wanting me to be their US liaison, I checked it out. Usually, in my vast experience, if it appears too good to be true, it usually is. I first checked to see if a business by the name of North American Sweepstakes Agency (I know, NASA, right?) really existed in NYC, NY. It wasn't in the BBB database, so I called the local office to talk to a live agent. She researched the phone number I was to contact and told me the area code was for Canada. She said there was so much fraud coming from there, that the RCMP (Mounties) had a task force for attempted economical fraud crossing borders that they had a task force set up. She called the phone hotline phonebusters, but I went to the website mentioned in their phone system because it was expected to be such a long wait. I filled out the complaint form and am holding all the documentation in case they want it as well as a printed copy of the report I filed. I am planning on contacting Viacom Int'l. to let them know an agent of fraud was using their trademark and name. I hope these perpetrators get caught and prosecuted. I was savvy enough not to get snared by them, but they stole something intrinsic from us, our Christmas spirit and sense of wonder at Christmas time. They stole our hope and belief in miracles at Christmas. You can't put a price on hope. Please, if you get an "award" letter, check it out with the better business bureau or your bank or law enforcement agency. Especially if they insist you not share y0ur news with anyone "for your safety". If you are directed to deposit by atm only, RED FLAG! Your bank personnel will happily verify whether or not the check is drawn on a valid account so you won't get ripped off. Also, if the check looks off, be wary. The routing number was in the middle of the check instead of being the first 9 numbers in the bottom left corner as is standard in US banks. Oh, and the zip code on the check was an Arkansas zip code, but the address used the two letter code for Arizona! Real smart con artist, huh? Have a safe holiday, may it be ripoff free!

Mutant Lifeforms in MY (Shower) Space!

I definitely did NOT need my glasses to see that THING! I knew I was sharing space with arachnid type beings, the cobwebs were glaring evidence. I did not realize that they were either beings from outer space or mutated by proximity to my natural gas powered water heater! I blogged in the past about my feelings regarding the species. I avowed as how phobia was too singular to describe my emotions about the "s" word. I loathe the creatures beyond all reason. I suggested a new term to represent my feelings: arachnisogynist. I'm not sure if I'm expositing from the term misogynist correctly. Perhaps it should be misarachnithrope. Whatever. I was unaware that common brown house spiders or "Daddy Longlegs" could grow to those proportions. If I understand the typical life cycle, the females mate, devour the male, reproduce via egg sac, tend said sac, and die. I did not believe the species could live through multiple reproductions. My extent of spider research is the book, Charlotte's Web. Well, if that's the case, the behemoth being in my shower was the "Grandmommiest Daddy Longlegs" in existence on this planet. Perhaps I shouldn't be blogging about this in my own home. After all, who's to say that don't communicate telepathically and whether or not they can read human thoughts. Well, that's enough of that. So much for sleeping. Again. Ever!

Angels Among Us (inspired by Alabama"s song)

Oh i believe there are angels among us.

Sent down to us from somewhere up above.

They come to you and me in our darkest hours.
To show us how to live, to teach us how to give.
To guide us with a light of love
(from song recorded by) Alabama

I know for a fact this is true! I also know that some of the angels are just people who live their faith everyday. They are God's presence reflected by acts of charity and faith they do every day. Whether it's helping with money, or lending a hand when family is not or cannot be there. They not only talk the talk but walk the walk of believers. They hold out a hand to the weary, the downtrodden, the lost and the found. They don't discriminate based on color of skin, income level, or even belief or disbelief.
Every time I feel like my God has forsaken me, He sends a fresh shower of love from His people. I don't know the name of this person, and if I did, I would not choose to expose them. They don't help me for who I am OR who they are. They help whenever and wherever they can because they are called to by God. I WILL not belittle their acts of charity by trying to find out who they are. Instead I will thank God, from whom all blessings flow. Had they not experienced the richness and fullness of God's blessings, they would not have the means or desires to help me when I am in need.
I know that when I was able to contribute in the Father's name, I did. It is part of human nature to crave gratitude, but I conquered my own human nature that time. I remember Pastor saying, "God does not let His true believers willingly go hungry". I didn't really comprehend. Much of God's ways are not meant for us to comprehend here in this life. We are merely meant to choose, Life over Death, Faith over disbelief, Grace over Sin. There will come a day when the scales will fall away and all will be revealed.
For today, let me thank my Father God, for the blessing of the means to get my daughter to her doctor's appointment on Tuesday, and food enough for our household to eat. Yes that included our pets. They have been part of our family since before times got hard. They do not deserve to go hungry either. I could no more give any one of them up than I could Ralph or Julia. I saved 50% on the little amount of food I bought Oreo and the kitty girls are settling for A $1 box of food from the dollar store. As for the groceries, I save 54% on the total bill. That included milk, bread, meat, vegetables, all the staples. I didn't need paper products because I had stocked up when I was able to get 12 double roll packs of tp for $3.50 after coupon.
Thank You God, for the angel you have watching over me and my family. Please bless them with the knowledge that their act of charity was gratefully received, prudently managed, and that You got all the glory! AMEN!

Where Were You When The World Stop Turning?

Today is 9/11/09, it's been eight years since that fateful September morning in 2001. There's a song by Alan Jackson, 'Where Were You When The World Stopped Turning?' and I realize that world really did stop turning on 9/11, but the American people gathered an amazing strength and kept on living. I'll never forget that day, so now I'm gonna tell my story, why don't you tell me yours too?
I was in 4th Grade at Mary Raber Elementary in my tiny Indiana Town. Nothing bad ever happens here, it's safe. When we got to school at a quarter til 8, everything was still normal. We made our way through the previous nights homework, I think we reviewed some Indiana History. Then Mrs. Reith took us down to Art with Mr. Bailey. He had the TV on and we all were transfixed by it. There was fires in New York, something had struck the Trade Centers. I didn't even know what the Trade Centers were.
Mr. Bailey said we could have the TV on as long as we kept doing our work. There was no protest, I don't think any one of us could even remember how to speak. It was the most hauntingly silent I've ever heard a bunch of ten year olds. I sat at one of the lunch style tables and worked on my geometric shape project. It was green, purple, and blue and it looked uncannily like camo.
Then I heard a gasp and my head snapped up, the towers were falling. My hand covered my mouth and I watched it unfold before my eyes. This wasn't supposed to happen, this is America, we doing the ass kicking.
When we got back to our classroom, the Principal had ordered that all TV's be shut off for the remainder of the day. I'm not sure, but I think we're the only ones who saw it. While a lot of the other teachers tried to keep peace and go on with their daily lessons, I think Mrs. Reith did the best thing she ever could've done for us.
We talked about it.
We talked about it for Lord knows how long. We sat there and talked for most of the day and then she had us take out our Writer's Journals and we wrote about it; what we were feeling, what we thought was happening... We shared our thoughts and it was the most binding act for a class that had been rather divided.
I got home that afternoon and mom snapped the TV off and I informed her I already saw it.
9/11 made me become rather patriotic, walking in the Memorial Day Parade became something that I had to do. Getting to carry the American Flag the following year for the parade made my heart swell. I love America.
There's a song by Darryl Worley called 'Have You Forgotten?' and I don't think we have. We may try to push it to the back of our minds, but there is no way to forget what happened. But there's a line I love from that song: "People say this country's just out lookin' for a fight, well after 9/11 man, I'd have to say that's right."
Toby Keith's Angry American [Courtesy of the Red, White, & Blue]: "We'll put a boot in your ass, it's the American way"
GOD BLESS AMERICA.
To Marcus Mullins & Ron Betts, thanks for protecting our country.

Thoughts & Prayers to America.
-Julia

If your kid won't eat it...

What makes you think mine will?
It never ceases to amaze me what people will donate to a food pantry! In hard times like these, a lot of us depend on food pantries to survive. Don't get me wrong, I am EXTREMELY grateful. It makes the difference between one sustaining meal a day and none. But I must confess to receiving food I have never heard of and have no clue how to use them. Some foods are a regional thing. I mean, Ralph lived in Florida for 8 years growing up. He knew about black beans, red beans & rice, and turnip greens. I however thought you ate the turnip and threw the greens away. Silly me!
I, to this day, have no idea how to prepare some of these foods and am not sure i am brave enough to try. I have had kale as decorative edible greens raw in a salad. I haven't a clue how to use a can of kale. I can only guess, since it resembles spinach, that it might be good hot with a little vinegar or butter. I am not sure. I am guessing the same solution would apply for turnip greens.
I have eaten asparagus, fresh, creamed asparagus, and found it delicious. I have never had it canned. I thought the flavor of the fresh was similar to green beans, but the texture more like that of broccoli stems and pieces (poorman's broccoli, since we can't afford the crowns) I have a can of asparagus spears and a can of tips, both of which are sitting in my cupboard, waiting for me to discover their purpose.
I had fresh broccoli from my sister's garden. It was wonderful except for cleaning it. I remember the days of soaking it in salt water and seeking out the little worms that like to hide in the crowns. That sounds so royal, so rich, broccoli crowns. Almost as if we aren't worthy of eating them. We stretched them to three meals Two meals had cooked, buttered broccoli as a side dish, and the stems served as ingredient for a yummy hamburger and veggie soup.
I mentioned turnips earlier, which I have never had cooked in my life. The few times we had them, Mom had sliced them raw as a snack for me. I also have always been a big fan of raw potatoes. It made peeling and preparing them more bearable. To me, zucchini was always floured and fried in shortening similar to the method for fried green tomatoes. Juli love those, though the appeal escapes me, other than the book and movie of the same name.
When Ralph and I first started dating, he brought venison burger and steaks and cooked out on the grill for my whole family. I had NEVER had any kind of game before. I (gamely! pun intended) tried it. I only ate it a few times more. I stopped when I got violently ill when I was pregnant with Juli after eating deer meat. His family are big aficianados of venison. They hunt it too! To me, it will always be eating "Bambi"! Since then, I avoid anything resembling beef at family get togethers. It's just safer with a family that ENJOYS hunting!
When I was growing up, as a daughter of two people whose families survived the depression eating game, we had 'store bought' meat. My parents both preferred meat that wasn't hunted. We rarely had fish, though Dad & MIke both loved to fish (a sport I LOATHE!!). I know logically that by and large, eating fish is supposed to be healthy for you, but the only fish I ever developed a taste for was McD's fish sandwich on rare occasions, and Gropp's Famous Fish of Stroh, a regional chain of restaurants that had an amazing beer battered fish, that I think was cod, but I am not sure.
I have in recent times, discovered you can eat Hamburger Helper, without the hamburger. You have to make minor adjustments, but it can be quite good. It will also work with just a few ounces of meat too. We found out that you can stretch a pound of ground beef to four meals, or one time even six, if you have to. Some foods don't work well together, but when you are desparate enough, you will try anything. Such times as these, bring out the inner creative cook in you. For example, we had a casserole recipe that called for corn tortillas. It mada a great macaroni dish too.
Anyway, if you aren't the unfortunate ones needing a food pantry, when you donate, remember, if your kid won't eat it what makes you think mine will? (although, she may have been the only two year old to cry for salad at McDonald's)

A Taste for Something Sweet...

What ever happened to Licorice allsorts? I did a search and found them available online in bulk. There is the classic allsorts that apparently are a British novelty. The closest thing I have found in stores around here are the boxed movie treats, Mike and Ike. Those however don't include the beaded looking allsorts, or the ribbon style. With the Mike and Ike's you just get two color choices in one shape, pink and white capsule shape.
Candy and gum go through trends like anything else. Some candies have real staying power as do so chewing gum products. Wrigley's doublemint and juicy fruit have been around forever. When it comes to chocolate, for more than a hundred years the hershey bar has been a classic. It has been a dry spell for me sweet-wise, so I decided to weigh in on what my cravings have been of late. I miss allsorts, ribbon candy (which resurfaces around Christmas), Beeman's gum, and the lately resurfacing pop rocks.
As I was reminescing about sweets from my childhood, I remember Momma telling me once that she had worked for a chocolate manufacturer as a young woman. The company had made the "Bun" bars (line has since been bought by another company). I remember her telling me that the assorted chocolates that come in boxes, had a unique swirl or design on top depending on the filling inside. She could no longer recall which was which, but one with a milk chocolate coating might have a clockwise swirl. Another, might have two squiggly lines. I had previously thought the swirls, etc, were just random and had no meaning.
Anyway, I remember those little wax "soda" bottles with a juice inside. I remember the bit o' honey that was so chewy, you'd swear it was pulling fillings. I know we enjoyed BlackJack and Clove gum. Before there was certs, there was sensen for breath freshening. And it seems like Snickers bars have been around forever. But I think one of my fondest memories is the boxes of Reese's Peanut butter cups miniatures before they were individually wrapped. We always had them chilled in the fridge. On a hot day, there was nothing like an ice cold Reese's mini! And what ever happened to "penny" candy? Remember the root beer striped sticks of hard candy? Or one of maybe 20 or more flavors?
You know, around Ralph's family, we don't mention Saf-t-pops. It seems that they were UNsafe for Ralph, he nearly choked to death on one of the ropelike paper twist handles. I still hold that there is NO substitute for parental supervision. I mean, Juli never choke on a handle! (although, she might have welcomed a little less supervision)
Anyway, there is once again sweets in the house, and I am about to enjoy a single serving, as per package. I know, what fun is that, but as I am diabetic, I have to include in my diet and behave. What a bummer. Comment back and let me know your "sweet" memories AND what is your current favorite!

(Mala)Props to her!

My late mother was the queen of malapropisms. The most memorable, perhaps, was at my ninth (and only) birthday party. We had the games, and I had blown out the candles and it was time to cut the cake. I know Laurie remembers this, Momma said, "I'll take the cake out of the candles..." I don't know how many laughs we shared over the years about that one. There were many other malapropisms over the years with Momma. Those years went by too fast and were far too few.

This isn't just about her though. Juli is carrying on a fine family tradition of malapropisms. Her most outstanding one(so far), occurred on the way to the doctor's office recently. We both ended up near tears from laughing. We were discussing the changes in the law regarding young drivers. (I can't believe she's been driving two years now.) I mentioned the death of several teens not long ago, because of suspected cell phone use while driving. She intended to tell me if her cell phone rang, she pulled off the road to take the call. What she said was, "I pull over to DRIVE". Oh, the shared laughs with my daughter are the most precious!
Moments like this just make me realize how fast time slips away. Momma's gone 11 years now. Juli only got to enjoy her for such a short time, but what an impact her love had on my baby girl. I am so glad my baby got to know the truly unconditional love of a grandma. Heaven knows, her other grandmother was jaded by having so many grandchildren, she never really shared the bond with Juli. More so perhaps, due to the fact that they never expected Ralph to parent any children, and never gave him credit as a father. His family seemed to assume they had to parent her for him, which only damaged his and Juli's bond more.
Juli clings to memories of the grandma that truly loved no matter what. I want Juli to know that kind of love her whole life long. Whether it be from me, or friends, or who ever turns out to be "Mr. Right". (I have suspicions that God has made His plans somewhat known about that.) My little writer is wise beyond her years about what love is and should be. She is the brightest amalgam of strength and frailty, joy and sorrow, love and life. She has an old soul, with the strength that kept her Grandma "Creepie" alive for twenty two years longer than her Spiritualist Minister grandfather predicted.
Juli loved her Grandma with the same passion that Grandma loved her. Whether she was Grandma Streby, "Creepie", "Stumpy" (after her leg was amputated), or Grandma Conehead, she was most importantly, Juli''s Grandma!

In memory of Martha Jessamine Fosnaugh Hile Streby,
4/30/1926 to 5/6/1998.

Oops, I goofed!

Yesterday I posted my first entry here, a copy of a letter to the governor of my state. I was so excited to start using our new site that I tweeted on twitter.com/julismom AND put it in my status on Facebook, not realizing it's only in caps in the page header! Needless to say, nobody was able to access it. Thanks to a lifelong friend who's on Facebook, I found out and now the address is pasted on both from the address bar here. Hopefully this will let people find it. Yesterday was a blurry-eyed day for me thanks to the retinopathy. When my blood sugar values fluctuate, sometimes it increases the swelling in the retina and blurs things up for me. I hope to have all the entries from the old blog up and posted here soon. My little techie is sick. Her hydendritis has flared up in her right axilla again. For those of you who aren't familiar with med-speak, she has a couple cysts under her right arm. Yes, she just had the left side excised on June 26th. The right was excised in October 2006. Doc Chamberlain said that sometimes it comes back and he's had to do 2 or 3 surgeries to eliminate it. Apparently it runs in both families. I know my cousin, Jackie had the full-on skin graft surgeries on both at the same time when she was a girl. I mean a young girl, not that she's old, Oh I give up! I just keep typing myself into a corner! Anyway, soon as Juli's able, she'll import the old entries into the archive if possible. Expect more entries soon. Come back often as my mind is QUITE unpredictable. You know, whichever way the wind blows! Going to go now, my neuropathy is making me think I have something crawling just above my elbow but there's nothing there. That's usually a sign I need to take a break from using the computer! Bye

An Open Letter to Governor Mitch Daniels

Dear Governor Daniels,
I thought you could use an update on how well the outsourcing is going on fssa. I FINALLY have an appeal hearing date on my turndown for medicaid for disabled workers. It is August 24, amazingly enough, that's this August! I got my initial turndown for last July (2008) application in late spring. I was turned down because, get this, they think I might still be able to do some kind of work. I am a brittle diabetic that has diabetic neuropathy, diabetic retinopathy, bipolar II disorder, asthma, hypertension and have been hearing disabled since age four. Do you have a job for someone that can barely walk, stand or sit for any length of time, that is also, hard of hearing and possibly going blind (if the retinopathy doesn't get treated), has difficulty breathing and may experience severe mood changes? If you know of anyone that would hire me, I would love to know.
In the meantime, I have to reuse my insulin needles until they're so dull they leave little scars. I rely on medications from assistance programs. These are not always the most effective medications because, not all are available thru a program. So my diabetes remains poorly controlled at the mercy of the state AND pharmaceutical companies that receive incentives from our state!
In the interim, my daughter, who will soon be 18 had her hoosier healthwise(?) canceled a second time, as did my husband's that covers his medicare premiums/copays. We successfully got them reinstated, having been through it before. On another note, our foodstamps have been reduced from $95/mo to $94/mo starting september. Our fixed income, which is just that, fixed, has not changed.
I work just 4 hours a week doing light housekeeping, cooking for a single client through the local council on aging, that I am employed by. When I started in 2003, I worked 21 hours per week. Now, it's all I can do to handle the two hours I go cook, wash the few dishes, help with paperwork, and light odds and ends I do for this gentleman. I don't know how much longer I will be able to do this. My eyes are rapidly approaching the point where I'll have to give up driving. Do I seriously have to go completely blind before I will get help?
Or is the plan like Survivor, outwit, outplay, OUTLAST? Is the system now designed to keep people in limbo until they give up or DIE?!
If the problems aren't fixed in time for me, I hope that in the future, they do get fixed. Indiana is rapidly becoming a geriatric state like Florida because all of our young people can't wait to get away. They watch Indiana's response to these problems, and are disappointed. Unlike Florida, we don't have the tourism industry to save us with tax dollars. It's in your hands, Governor Daniels, as am I.
Sincerely, one of your loyal (at least in the last election) constituents,
Marcia L.Carter