One Year

It's 2:52 AM and I'm sat here in this worn down leather chair, steaming mug of coffee on the stand beside me, freezing rain pouring down outside, and 'Stronger' up as loud as it will go. I'm sat here thinking of you, Anita. Thinking of how much I miss you, how proud you'd be of your babies, and how much you loved it when Mallorie and I would dance to this song.
I miss you more than words could ever say, Anita. You changed my entire life and I am forever in gratitude to you. I can still hear your voice in my head and the way you'd call me 'Lil Gu'url'. Nobody else gets to call me that, not even my Mama. It's a rule.
Thanks for giving my mom a best friend, Anita. I know she really misses you - more than I do and that's a lot. She had Aunt Carla and her one friend that died when she was little, but I think you were her first real best friend. What was it you guys called each other? Sister-Friend. That's it. You guys were sister-friends. Kindred spirits. Thanks for giving my Mommy that.
I know Mallorie, Matt, & Mandy miss you. They're so amazing, you raised three beautiful and wonderful children, Anita. Mal will be nineteen Saturday and I wish more than anything that I could be up there to give her a hug and dance with her to stronger. Just like we used to do in the living room while you and mom laughed so hard tears came. I know you're looking over those babies of yours and you're smiling big.
It's Christmas day and I can't help but think of you. Not because it's the one year anniversary of your passing, but because you seemed like Christmas personafied to me. You were always so full of joy and there was always a smile on your face - even when things were going wrong.
Today, I'm gonna smile. I'm gonna tell your baby girl that I love her and that we'll always be best friends. Cause we're our momma's all over again - Sister Friends.

Love you lots, Anita.
Love,
Jules